Sunday, July 29, 2012

Thick & Thin

Lately I have found myself caught up in the whirlwind of summer. Traveling, swimming, trips, family, etc. All great things alone, however when smooshed together in a very short time span it creates me very tired, stressed mom. At the beginning of summer (like most women) I began attempting to lose some post-baby weight. Since summer began in March this year, I was feeling the pressure. I needed to look like "them". I was doing well getting myself on a healthier diet (I'm currently nursing Abe so not restricting cals) and began exercising. I stopped because no one noticed the changes I felt were huge. We began traveling every weekend. A suitcase stayed half packed on our floor for a month! Not to mention, I am not fully recovered from laundry mountain. Now, I'm back to square one. I let the pressure and stress get in the way of my health. All I wanted was to be skinny like everyone else (in my head everyone is skinny). My focus was on my outward appearance to everyone around me. It didn't matter that my new regimen was helping me with more energy or making my clothes fit better. Why is it i care so much what the world thinks, instead of who it actually matters? I have been wrestling with this matter for a couple weeks now. After praying and encouragement from friends I got plopped down to reality. God does not care if my belly is still jiggly from carrying his creation, but he does care if I do not properly take care of myself. God does not care if I have the coolest wardrobe, but he does care if I strive for the worlds approval over His. Last week Abram had a well check, and his weight is still on the low-side and a little concerning. I felt a nudge to remind myself to take care of Myself and not focus on my outward appearance. I knew this meant I would need to motivate myself to push my milk supply, instead of getting on a diet. But, life isn't always about you and more often than not it shouldn't be about you. I guess what I am saying is we are all a work in progress. Sometimes we focus our attention on things that will never matter in the end. I'm reminded every day when my kiddos laugh & smile that God has chosen me for more. I want to a strong, healthy role model for my kids. I strive to feel good about myself inside and out, not worrying about what the world thinks. Baby steps.

9 comments:

Beth said...

You are the hottest, most stylin' mama in town, no joke! It is so odd to me that you would have any hangups, because in my mind, YOU are one of the moms everyone wants to look like. I feel so dumb I even asked you about the burritos because while I sometimes live in a calorie-counting world, you definitely shouldn't! I know I have told you before, but it took me the entire year of nursing Theo to take off what I put on for him. That is what was supposed to happen though and I enjoyed a lot of food in the meantime. I know it is silly for me to tell you not to stress, because I feel that pressure too, but you are gorgeous and I hope somewhere deep down you know that. xoxo

Chelsa said...

I don't care what you weigh- you are the prettiest lady around. Your smile is radiant and you I've always thought you were gorgeous. Even if you were butt-ugly though it is def. what is on the inside that counts. "pretty is as pretty does" :)

Erica said...

I agree with the girls, you are so beautiful and I would love to look and dress like you. Your one hott momma.

Brandy Sweet said...

You are gorgeous!!! Remember, it took 9 months to gain.

Courtney, Jeff, Ayla & Leah said...

You all are way too sweet! I really just wanted to get it off my chest and I know others struggle w this too

Jen said...

my sweet friend: this post made me cry beCAUSE it just isn't fair that women are prone to feeling inferior when we don't feel as pretty/skinny/fashionable ect. as the women around us. Esp. you because like everyone else said: you are gorgeous and always trending and i have more than a few times thought i was a loser when we've hung out bc I'm not as cute as you. The point is I think the whole thing is an attack on women to distract us from being brillant and changing the world. ;) love you.

Abby said...

girl i feel ya.. we all go through down points in our life, and i'm feeling a little that way myself.. after spending alot of time loosing some weight i have now focused my entire summer on my kiddos and gained it all back... it's not easy finding "me" time, but it is important to be healthy and take care of our bodies.. you are BEAUTIFUL and I have always thought that about you.. you are always dressed adorable and most of all your a WONDERUFUL momma! It's so hard not go get into a slump about what this world desires... keep your head up.. your doing great!

HeatherH said...

Welp, I can't reiterate enough what everyone else has said! You are truely beautiful inside and out and have created such a beautiful life for your beautiful children! Your post was very well put and I know I can relate! Keep smiling that smile and DO NOT EVER doubt your appearance! Now, when are we having that girls night out!?

Ashley said...

I think you are BEAUTIFUL!!!! I know there is so much out there that focuses on being "perfect" but in the long run that doesn't matter. What matters is what you said, how YOU feel!