Thick & Thin

Lately I have found myself caught up in the whirlwind of summer. Traveling, swimming, trips, family, etc. All great things alone, however when smooshed together in a very short time span it creates me very tired, stressed mom. At the beginning of summer (like most women) I began attempting to lose some post-baby weight. Since summer began in March this year, I was feeling the pressure. I needed to look like "them". I was doing well getting myself on a healthier diet (I'm currently nursing Abe so not restricting cals) and began exercising. I stopped because no one noticed the changes I felt were huge. We began traveling every weekend. A suitcase stayed half packed on our floor for a month! Not to mention, I am not fully recovered from laundry mountain. Now, I'm back to square one. I let the pressure and stress get in the way of my health. All I wanted was to be skinny like everyone else (in my head everyone is skinny). My focus was on my outward appearance to everyone around me. It didn't matter that my new regimen was helping me with more energy or making my clothes fit better. Why is it i care so much what the world thinks, instead of who it actually matters? I have been wrestling with this matter for a couple weeks now. After praying and encouragement from friends I got plopped down to reality. God does not care if my belly is still jiggly from carrying his creation, but he does care if I do not properly take care of myself. God does not care if I have the coolest wardrobe, but he does care if I strive for the worlds approval over His. Last week Abram had a well check, and his weight is still on the low-side and a little concerning. I felt a nudge to remind myself to take care of Myself and not focus on my outward appearance. I knew this meant I would need to motivate myself to push my milk supply, instead of getting on a diet. But, life isn't always about you and more often than not it shouldn't be about you. I guess what I am saying is we are all a work in progress. Sometimes we focus our attention on things that will never matter in the end. I'm reminded every day when my kiddos laugh & smile that God has chosen me for more. I want to a strong, healthy role model for my kids. I strive to feel good about myself inside and out, not worrying about what the world thinks. Baby steps.