Thursday, November 5, 2009

The sickies

Man I hate when my kids are sick. Even more when I try to do all I can as a mom to protect them. Should I have not taken my girls out for trick or treating? Started vitamin C? Can a toddler take vitamin C? Why don't I know the answer? Oh, I guess its not worth looking back. Let's press forward.

But, I still hate when they don't feel good. Pittiful.

I am typing this at 9am. Just 3 hrs after returning from the Emergency Room with Ayla. Ayla has had a yucky cough for a couple days. She was swabbed for flu which was negative. She seemed to get worse yesterday. By evening I called my MD personally. We decided to treat her symptoms as if a bit of pneumonia. Which I was comfortable with. One dose of antibx later and off to bed. I spoke with my friend about her symptoms and we thought 'what if'.... what if the swab was wrong? what if her symptoms get worse? what is worse? She reminded me of the few people in Indiana that have recently lost their lives to this awful virus going around. I couldn't get it out of my mind. What IF?

When I stop for a minute and calm the million things floating through my head, I know I do not have control over the outcome. Then I should be comforted by that fact right? No, I am a worrying. I wish I wasn't. As I have gotten older, and I hope wiser, I know how to quiet my fears. But they don't go away.

I checked on Ayla frequently. She was restless and sounded awful. Her airway was so tight. By 2:30am I brought her into our bed to have Jeff listen to her to see if I was over reacting. Her temp 102.6. I held my breath, exhaled and said "Im taking her to the ER". Phew. I scooped her up and headed out. Once I got her awake her breathing wasn't as severe and I started to doubt myself. Regardless, we were there from 3-6-- was treated for croup, epi neb and steriod.

Im tired.

7 comments:

Chelsa said...

hope miss ay feels better- i know how you feel about thinking "what if". i think it is better to be safe than sorry!

Jenelle said...

Never second guess yourself for taking a extra step in protecting your child. We have been to ER twice and in the past month & half when normally I would never take them in. But the same thought crosses all Moms minds "What If?" Better for them to say nothing is wrong then it be too late to treat them. You did the right thing.Your a great Mom! Hope everyone gets healthy soon.

Tera said...

Aww, poor Ayla. Hope she is feeling better soon and you all get some much needed rest today.

Brittany said...

Sorry I got you paranoid, but I'm still glad you took her. Meredith wants Ayla to get better and SOON! Hope you all get to nap today!!

Jennifer said...

So so scary. You did the right thing. Hopefully she will start feeling better soon!

Mike, Erica, and Evan said...

I hope ayla gets feeling better, I love the family pic, sooooo cute.

beth and pete said...

Poor Ayla, and poor Courtney! Hope that the worst is over and that your family is on the mend. XOXO, Beth