Friday, April 16, 2010

Things on my mind...

I have been sorting through Mommy issues lately. This week has been a stressful one for myself. I know I bring alot of stress on myself with my personality. But, with sick kids, sinus pressure, to-do lists not being done, gi bugs, cutting molars, no exercise, and discipline issues. Im tired.

I am looking for good, honest advice. Please.

Preschool. When? How? Why? Ok, no why... but howwwwwwwwwwww? I have often tried to work with Ayla on "preschool-ish" stuff. She shows interest and that is often lost by like 5 mins into an activity. That has since pushed me away and we have neglected it. We stopped doing crafts and everything. I know. I am a bad Mom. We made a decision for me stay home so I could do this stuff with her. Ugh. I get frustrated, I want things so so. I am a nurse not a teacher. Jessie, help me out! ha I know that I need to choose my time of day better and be consistant every day. What next? If she doesn't respond do we do a early preschool program?

Leah is crazy. I have weaned her down from her am bottle and I know she misses it. I kills me. She pushes away her milk cup in the am and frustratedly rolls around in my arms and signs "drink". Doesn't cry, but shrieks. She wants it. I know she'll be fine. I rarely give in on things. She eventually takes her milk and eats breakfast. But, it doesn't stop there. Lately, she's been more physical. Like swatting. She is trying to tell us something. But, I don't know. I assume its bc her mouth is full of swollen gums where her molars will soon be. But, its crazy. I dont know how to discipline a 12 mo old. And I like to be consistant. Its killing me.

I guess it may seem little to some, but I try to take my SAHM job seriously. I want to know that I made a difference being home. If not, what's the point. I trust all you Mama's so much. I see all your kiddos grow and thrive and couldn't be more proud to be able to witness it! Thanks for listening...

7 comments:

Caroline and Kyle said...

I know I'm not a momma, but this being my first year of teaching in 1st grade I have learned a lot :). I don't know what preschool programs are available in Washington, my sister and brother went to Molly Mitchell's preschool at the WC and my mom still talks about how great it was. Just a thought :) Also, a good friend of mine since I moved to Texas has a 13 month old and made a comment the other day that she has justed started disciplining from a Christian book she is reading. I can find out the title? Hope that helps..Once again I know I'm not a momma, but I'm around kiddos and mommies a lot. :)

Chelsa said...

first and foremost- you are a WONDERFUL mom (HONESTLY!).

I think Brycen does much better learning academic things from his teachers at school than from me. At home he gets frustrated or bored with me trying to help. Not to say that we don't work on stuff at home, but he does learn best academically at pre-school. I've always thought it's just b/c I'm not a good teacher, but I actually think he just knows school is the time to listen and learn that stuff. I've had to learn to be okay with that. I love his teachers and trust them enough to just let go of my insecurity about not measuring up in that category of motherhood. At his pre-school there are lots of SAHM's that send their kiddos one or two days a week to pre-school (all ages, 3-4-5). I know you will be able to make the right decision for you and Ay. You know why it will be right? Because YOU LOVE HER.

Beth said...

i agree that you are a great mama. the fact that you are so concerned about all of this is indicative of that.
my mommyhood experience doesn't leave me with a lot of room for advice-giving, but i was a nanny all through college and grad school, and now i teach, so i will give my two cents. when my nanny kids were ayla's age, i would set a timer for ten minutes, twice a day - morning and afternoon. the kids didn't really know about the timer so much, but that is the time i would set aside for doing flashcards (letters, numbers, colors, shapes), playing a learning game or puzzle, pre-writing and writing, interactive reading (as opposed to regular passive reading) and counting worksheets. again, i was being paid to do this, but this is what i would want for my son - to know he was being intellectually stimulated on a daily basis. 20 minutes is enough at ayla's age, and if you have to skip it, it won't hurt a thing.
that said, there are benefits to preschool aside from content learning - like learning how to get along with others, how to be away from mommy and daddy, and how to follow rules. so i could see why you'd go that route too.
i hope this helps!

Jen said...

My advice on preschool is DON'T DO IT! Unless you feel like you need a break or they need extra structure or socialization or whatever. I homeschooled Triston for preschool for one year when he was 3, then put him in an actual preschool at 4 and honestly, everyday that he would go I would think, "why is he there?" We did the very same things at home, so he didn't go back after Christmas. Plus, after they start Kindergarten they are going to be in school for the next 15 years. That extra time with mom is important! But if you are going to put her in, I'd just do pre-K at age 4....it can help prepare her for Kindergarten at least.

As for little Leah, it sounds like she is throwing a fit because she wants that bottle! She'll eventually stop if you don't give in. (ALOT easier said than done, though, right?!) I think that kids start hitting/biting/pushing/ect. at that age sometimes because it is hard for them to express what it is exactly that they want. But, it is true that they need to know that they aren't allowed to act like that. For Leah's age, I would try to re-direct. If that doesn't help, you could tell her "NO" and set her in her bed with the door closed for a few minutes. Then go back in and love on that girl and try it again.

When all else fails. Just love them more! Stop whatever it is that you are doing and just sit, read books, look out the window together, ect.

Now of course, this is all easier said then done and a lot of the time I am too overwhelmed to take my own advice, so sometimes you are just doing whatever works in the moment.

And that is okay too.

Right?!

Jessie said...

Ok I have no idea where to begin..there's so much to say when it comes to pre-school & readiness. We should prob talk in person but I'll go ahead & mention a few things!:) #1--I think it's GREAT that you do crafts with A, but don't worry if she's not too interested. That could simply be a personality trait. Maybe trade that time for games involving # and letter recognition. Then when she gets good at that, start on letter sounds. #2 I don't think you HAVE to have a set time everyday for learning. That is something that will naturally happen all day long. A few ideas..flash cards, counting things on her plate (peas, grapes, etc.) or just everyday life--flowers, dolls, hair clips, shoes. The same thing goes for shapes. For letter & # rec. practice, you could have a letter/# of the week. All week work on it...paint it, color it, draw it, spot it in books, etc. #3 Preschool--this is a biggie. To be honest, I think age 4 is plenty early, but def. crucial. It is SO easy to tell which of my K students have/haven't been to pre-s. They just seem a little more mature socially, emotionally, academically, etc. It makes a world of difference in the world of full-day K. Sorry this is so long! Those are just a few of my thoughts:) I'll email some really good learning websites w/plenty of resources for games and ideas. Most importantly, you're doing a great job as a mom, so keep it up!!

Brittany said...

I didn't post a comment on here earlier because I really didn't have any good advice:) I came back to hear what other people had to say, and I really enjoyed reading all the great advice. All the educational stuff is VERY important, but I think the most important thing to a 3 yr old is to feel loved and safe and Ayla most def feels that!!!

Tera said...

I'm pretty much with Jessie on this one. I definitely don't think you have to "set aside" a specific time for teaching at home. Just incorporate things into your daily life. And it's not just about letters and numbers...it's learning about healthy foods, how to be kind, what's the difference between butter and peanut butter, etc. :) I also think one year of pre-school is enough...I think it's more about listening, sitting still, making new friends, following directions, etc. than about the "academic part"...which you can work on with her at home. As for disciplining, 12 mo. is definitely not too early to discipline. I have to disagree with Jen on the bed thing...you don't want her to think bed is for when she disobeys. But, making a specific "time out" area might work. Ginger Plowman's book "Don't make me count to 3" is very helpful for Biblical parenting...as well as things by Ted Tripp. (Now, I will admit that I sometimes count to 3, but this book gives specific scripture on helping to change your child's heart to obey because she loves Jesus. :)) Hope that helps and remember...You are a good mommy! You love your little girls and sometimes just spending a day showing them your love is enough!